Tips For Finding Love When You Are Bitter About Love
Bad relationships can turn even the most loving person into a bitter, angry scrooge. Walking around proclaiming how true love is nothing but a fairy tale can be you if you let the anger and hurt get to you! But if you want a chance of finding love again you are going to have to let down your guard and start looking at potential love interests in a brand new way!
While it may not be easy at first you will slowly be able to shed off bitter layer by bitter layer if you work at it, and soon love will not be a swear word anymore but rather something you are ready for again.
TIPS TO FIND LOVE WHEN YOU ARE BITTER
1. Stop Talking Negatively About Love
Even if you feel negative about love that doesn't mean you have to talk negatively about it. When you talk negative about love you most likely don't stop at one or two words. That's because you add even more persuasion to your feelings of bitterness which results in more complaining about it. You are literally giving your feelings more energy by verbalizing them and therefore making it harder to let go of the bitterness.
Stop yourself the next time you find yourself wanting to rain on someone's happiness parade or make a comment about the couple kissing in the corner. Instead, let yourself process how you feel and don't say anything if you can't say anything nice it all. You will be able to let go of that negative feeling quicker and move on with your day, and without the added negative tone to your life you may be able to let go of those feelings quicker and even move past them to allow yourself to look for love, and hopefully happiness.
2. Don't Put Past Labels on People You Don't Know
Just because that guy or girl looks like your ex, walks like your ex, talks like your ex, and even gestures like your ex, it doesn't mean that they ARE your ex. It doesn't mean that they have the same attitude as your ex or react to things the same way.
Putting labels on someone before you even know them is a sure-fire way to end a relationship before it happens. It's not fair to that person or to yourself to judge people on past experiences.
The next time you feel yourself making assumptions about someone try to step back from the situation and become aware of what you are doing, then try to get to know that person so you can form a new opinion of them and 'their kind'. In time you may associate the same swagger you used to hate about your ex as a positive thing you like about your new friend.
3. Remember that Love Feels Better Than Hate
Try to remember about a happy moment when you felt completely loved. That feeling of happiness and ease and relaxation should be the first thing that comes to mind. Now try to remember a moment where you felt nothing but hate. That should be accompanied by sadness, despair, and a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach.
Love lifts you up and hate brings you down. I just have to look out the window at my loveless neighbour full of hate to see that. She's sick, bitter, and she's given up on the world. But when I look at older couples who are surrounded by love I see something completely different. A sense of lightness and awareness accompanies their every move.
You and I both know that it's better to feel love than hate. Work on replacing your feeling of hate or anger with love in whatever means possible. Picture a loving moment, do something you enjoy, or talk to someone who always lifts your spirits. Never dwell in the negative.
Bellaisa is the owner of the Relationship Circle, a website with relationship advice for men and women on dating, intimacy, and relationship problems.
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